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Author Topic:  How do you deal with...  (Read 1192 times)

Ether

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on: February 19, 2017, 01:12:02 PM
...difficult personalities?

I just spoke with a friend yesterday. She works at this place where I used to work as well, and she was telling me there was this new girl who had such a terrible attitude. Terrible meaning, while with a group of people, she would make up stuff about someone, usually something that would damage the reputation of that person... it's not even an exaggeration of an event. It was literally something that never happened.

To make matters worse, the stuff she'd make up aren't quite simple things either. An example is, she'd say one of the men in the office got her pregnant! That's kind of overboard for making something up, don't you think? And they never even got in a room or were alone at all.

So I thought about it for a bit. Normally the best option would be to ignore someone like this, don't give them attention. But what if you needed to deal with this person on a daily basis? Like a co-worker, or your subordinate at work.

I for one wouldn't be sure how I'd go about it. I suppose speaking to the HR in charge would be the best bet, but what if you're the HR personnel? Haha.

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Reply #1 on: February 19, 2017, 02:45:08 PM
The only difficult people I ever experience in person are more than likely in the autistic spectrum. One guy like that will not stop talking and seems rather incapable of picking up cues that people are uncomfortable or do not care, and people are usually too nice and let him prattle on forever, never saying a word to quiet him. Even hearing from others, it is usually the high-functioning autistic people who they feel that they must report because they inadvertently do socially inappropriate stuff.

When the guy mentioned above tried to ask me a question after asking another the same exact thing, I ignored him the entire time because I wanted him to hurry and leave. He asked about five more times while I just played games on my phone. Then he asked the question in Spanish a few more times. It was obvious it was the same question, but I kept thinking, 'Hey, man. I'm Asian.' Then he peered over my shoulder to see what I was playing. All I could do was mentally sigh until he left of his own will.

There was one girl online who I was extremely sure had a level of autism, so I decided that the only thing I could do was to tell her everything straight. I compiled everything I disliked about her behavior and revealed that everyone else agreed. She was obviously offended because I did nothing to sugarcoat my words, assuming that she would misinterpret yet another thing if I danced around the issue, and an incident broke out. Yay~ People usually do not like it when I am honest because I tend to sound unabashedly patronizing.
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kokoro-cafe

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Reply #2 on: February 20, 2017, 08:21:43 AM
I really hate office politics, I'm like you where I would just try to stay out of it. Personally, I think getting involved directly could just make her act even worse. I would say just cut the conversation short when she starts talking about anything besides work that way she gets the hint you aren't interested in gossiping. Hopefully her lies get back to the people involved and they file a formal complaint with HR so HR can intervene, otherwise it will just be lots of office drama.


Ether

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Reply #3 on: February 21, 2017, 11:51:59 AM
But then the trouble is the management themselves love drama.

My old office had such terrible management. During my first job, my boss was just strict and mean. Despite that, she knew how to properly do her job though, and part of what I had observed was that she would never encourage gossiping - in fact, she would warn any of the staff that if they can't shut their mouths then it would mean trouble.

But my last office (which would be my second job), it was terrible. Supervisors would just stand in the middle of production floor and whisper among themselves, obviously gossiping!

The only other manager that was in his right mind only worked at the company part time and he was incognizant of the goings-on in the office. You try to talk to him about the gossiping, he would listen politely, but you could tell that he had already disregarded the issue, believing that the management was not that petty.

Ugh. He had no idea.


kokoro-cafe

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Reply #4 on: February 21, 2017, 08:16:24 PM
Yeah, at that point it would just be a matter of how much can you avoid the gossip and/or ignore it/put up with it. I personally think HR and management has a responsibility in having to deal with it to make it a good environment to work in, if they refuse to do so and it's becoming something unbearable then maybe start searching for a work environment you are more comfy with? Sadly office politics exists everywhere, just some places it's easier to deal with than others.


Ether

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Reply #5 on: February 22, 2017, 01:43:16 PM
Yes indeed. Office politics are everywhere, but I would at least hope there was some degree of professionalism... haha

Speaking of dealing with things.

You know, social media is a landmine these days. A nest of hate here and there. Personally I don't like getting involved in any of the pointless arguments but I do get rather annoyed when I see some of my friends (also people that I know in real life) being so zealous about opposing another person's opinion.

Seriously. I thought communities in online games were toxic, but somehow I'm starting to prefer the toxicity of those online game communities versus social media toxicity.


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Reply #6 on: February 22, 2017, 09:14:10 PM
I know what you mean, especially recently. I've really just taken to avoiding social media or spending as little time on it as possible. I feel like everyone is so entrenched in each other's differences that we are forgetting what makes us similar too. For example how many of us love animals and tv. Actually, I've really taken to watching more TV like This Is Us because it makes me feel more hopeful for humanity because real life seems so bleak lately lol.


Ether

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Reply #7 on: February 24, 2017, 05:21:42 AM
Indeed. :/ everyone is so hostile. haha.

Speaking of TV, I haven't watched a thing for ages... though a good cooking show or documentary will always be something of interest. Some movies too, I'm not a movie person. Can you recommend anything? :D


kokoro-cafe

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Reply #8 on: February 24, 2017, 07:42:58 PM
I LOVE cooking shows! Well I love Master Chef lol. More specifically Master Chef Junior. I like Master Chef but I could do without all the drama that happens. XD

Movies.... I really haven't watched much in the theaters lately. Nothing looks particularly good. Recently I watched John Wick 2 and the Great Wall. John Wick 2 was okay, it's just straight up action, very little plot or dialogue lol, my bf loved it. Great Wall I really didn't expect much, we went because Lego Batman was full. It was actually better than I thought and we went in there with zero expectations. Really feel bad for Matt Damon though, he got so much shade because everyone was accusing him of white washing the movie and really it was just the fault of marketing not portraying the movie or his character better which is pretty much a thief going to the Great Wall to steal the magical black powder that makes all things go boom. Anyway, if you like action, some cheesy CG animation and very vibrant costumes and sets, that's not a bad one to see either at normal matinee price. Oh, Sing was a good one if that's still in theaters and Star Wars the Force Awakens I really enjoyed. I forgot what else I watched recently lol.



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