[draikel]

Ok, so, I've been working on this picture over the course of 2 days. Roughly 10 hours total, dumped into it. And I'm almost 100% satisfied. The only thing I'm NOT happy with is Kenshi's hair. Its too short (primarily in the front, I think?), and I think it makes him look a lot like Naruto's Gaara.

I can't visualize the lines where they should be, to lay them down myself, so I'm seeking help.



Anyone?

Linkback: https://kokoro-cafe.net/index.php?topic=679.0

[Aiwethryne]

Yay fanart~~ Mind if I move your thread to the Fanart/Fanfics section, though? Because... fanart... Yes, yes~?

In all actuality, I have no idea what any of these characters look like. Played the prologue soooooo long ago. I'll do a refresher in the Spoilers section to see how they look and I'll do the redlining then. Though I can go on about general anatomy issues right off the bat.

[draikel]

Move away! I missed the fanart/fics section... Had been hoping I got the right forum.

I'll learn my way around here better, eventually! *lol*

XD My anatomy isn't going to get much better, I don't think... I do 3D rendering for reference models, and coming this far is already a very recent development. However, feel free to go on about that, all you want as well. If it can give me some insight, that'd be great!

Just.. now, like I said, it's the hair XD All I can see is stacked Gaara. *lol*

[Aiwethryne]

It's been so long since I've done a thorough critique~~ Though I usually type it out in my confusing ways. My handwriting is atrocious when I write fast, so ask if you need to know what something says. Click the image. It'll go to the larger view so you can read the comments.



Now knowing that you were referring to 3D models, I can totally see that in the sitting guy with his head extended back. When not using models, adjust your own body to see where your shoulders align. You seem to protrude them a little too much. It might be a good practice for you to actually draw each body individually so that you can have the distancing and heights more in mind as you proceed. Drawing around other figures and stopping short is not much of a benefit.


I also edited the title of the thread to match the section.

[draikel]

First, I must say... Atsumu with lady bits is quite amusing. But don't tell him that. He's such a sweet guy, and the boys pick on him enough, as it is.

Didn't notice how strange Takuto's right arm looked. But now this stands out more than  Kenshaara....Kinda suddenly looks like he has half of a baby arm. And his foot is a little small.. But I imagine him at a ladies 7/8... whatever that would be in mens (even that makes it a bit small). As far as his left arm goes, I can see where you're coming from, but when I was posing his model, I went with how I'd do it. I tend to keep my shoulders relatively squared off with the rest of my upper torso, when I move to pull something.

With Bon and Riki... When it comes to his height, with the way I have him bent in the model, he'd be about  6 inches taller than her, if he were standing fully erect. He's bent slightly at the hips, a little more so in the upper gut, followed by his shoulders being brought forward a bit, and his neck dipping forward to get his head settled. - With her leg, it's actually bent back at the knee a bit. I felt with both feet level on the floor, she looked a bit too stiff, for being pulled in 3 different directions.

Kenshi's hand was a bit problematic. I think that's one of the last things I posed, after 3 hours and some odd minutes of work, and I don't think I noticed. Not that good with hands, so I'm not sure if I can fix it, either. :| And down to his hair, I know what needs to be done with the front. I just can't (the back shouldn't be an issue). It'll take a bit of... persistent trial and error... That might wind up with canning the piece all together, if I get too frustrated. Kick everyone out sept for Atsumu (my original idea was B is for Boss, instead of B is for Black Foxes... the whole group came to mind much later!).



Can't explain/recognize anything else, really... Because it looks good to me.

With the shoulders, though I have more of a masculine frame rather than a feminine one, I'm also  a bit on the... "squishier" side. So, my body doesn't quite work the same way as a thin, males would. And, I'm not sure, when you say protruding, if you mean they're too broad, or just too... bony-ish. - If you mean the broadness, in the art classes I took, the instructor drilled it into our heads, that a person should be able to hold 3 of their heads, between the edges of each shoulder. I often think the shoulders look wonky like that, but if we didn't draw them as such, points were knocked off of our grades, so it's something I had grown accustom to. I've tried breaking the habit. It's been  years since I've graduated. But it's a difficult habit to break.

Thank you for all the notations. ^^I really appreciate it. No longer near as pleased with the outcome as I was before hand, but I do believe I can fix most of what bugs me, after your pointers.

[Aiwethryne]

I still don't know the names of anyone. *guessing while reading* Now you'll see why my typed crits are more confusing~

Oh, no~ Not about the broadness of shoulders. The things I noted look like the bones are jutting out in dislocation. With Takuto... I think (the guy with both arms in green), I had shifted his entire frame to his left. If he is turned enough where you can see the bumps of his man boobs, you should see less of his upper arm. Considering how your teacher said the whole thing about three heads atop the shoulder span, his left shoulder was the thing that was pushed in too much, hence why I chopped off that part of his body and moved it over. Even if his arm is going back in reaction, it's not enough to make the shoulder shrink in perspective like that. Maybe overlay your original lineart with the scribbles I made to see the difference. If the bump of short-haired guy's arm is his shoulder, just think of how that connects to his torso based on the current lines. Either that nearly extreme divet is raised to align with the curve of the shoulder span, or it is how I had indicated for a 3/4 body exposure.

I guess you can get a better grasp of the spacing problems if you draw a very fine perspective grid on the floor. Or just imagine one~ The MC's foot did not register as tilting back because it is on the same level as Takuto's foot. The way his leg is bent makes it seem as though he had extended his leg forward, when he is already a bit behind the MC. This may be an insufficient example, since I draw perspective to an extreme, but the MC's leg would need to look rather truncated like this if it were leaning back. That in mind, to make the smallness of Takuto's shoe less odd, you would need to foreshorten it. The shoe looks like it is angled in such a strange way as an attempt to avoid doing so. I assumed that hugging guy was hunched over, but seeing those random lines popping out from behind the MC's leg make me think that he is standing straight-ish. Pushing his waist in like you had just makes it look like he has feminine curves. To make it more believable that he slouching, you would be able to see a sliver of his back to the side of his right arm.

Although you say you've been out for a while, one of the best classes to take is figure drawing, where you would likely do gesture drawings like crazy. It's a bit different from what I suppose a standard anatomical drilling is like. Quite honestly, everything I know about anatomy is just from observation. Whenever an instructor prattles on about proportions, I seem to zone out and continue to draw as I do by what looks right. I only took a workshop for figure drawing, but the quick methods do wonders~ Exercises are basically drawing ten-second stick figures so that you know where the joints are allocated with every subtle shift in position and obviously taking foreshortening in account. That is where the shoulders in your figures have their issues.